in my cosy slippers...

tis when you have a whole lot of work .. you are always feeling the pressure of reaching work and on the other side of the day a pressure to reach home on time. A constant nag in your head that your work is way more than you think it is. you know that it is taking a lot of your mind and then you thinking while listening to the blaring music in your car that - do you have anything more important than work? Do you want something more important?

And then there is a sunday when your cousin wakes you up at 10.30am, A cup of coffee, no newspaper and MtV and breakfast at noon mark the beginning of the day. It's when you give your bath a miss and laze while having a long discussion with family on "why marriage is so not on your mind" When unconscious signs from your mom that you better be thinking about it and a conscious sign from your dad that he is happier to have you home than to send you off to someone else's home.

A long head massage, another huge cup of coffee, the tele in the background and feet rapped up in the blanket remind you of the pleasures of summer holidays.

Why do I need to wake up so early, dress, do all my work... when the true pleasure of life lie in my cosy slippers?

Thirsty

its was 7.15pm. I was palpitating. I had to reach back home. There was something about these meetings that I liked. and there was something about it that used to make me very nervous. I knew I had the ideas,. I knew exactly what to say. I was not afraid of those sitting around me. It was the same place where i had tried the fish. Loved it to death and decided not to have it ever again. It was the place where someone could not stop taking pictures of me and a place where I would sit and take photos of the endless stories around me.

Here I was discussing this story. A new story. How easy was it to weave it for someone else. I did not have to do anything. I would sit back and visualise. Wish someone could do that for me. It's very easy to take someone's confused ideas and put them in place. But mine seem a bucket of grease.

Making films, shooting, editing ... sitting with a group of crazy people and making things happen was something I was good at. What happened? Looking at pages of script and coming up with a plan to market meant sitting with a cup of coffee and writing a 40 page document. Too easy...

These days, it's waking up in the middle of the night, panting, thirsty, a bunch of photos and a lonely lamp burning to keep the spirit alive.

in the shutter of a second

In a shutter of a second in a flicker of a comment like "well written tho, with a little bit of editing i think it will get the crisp crunch that it lacks"

Today he gladly keeps the rights to shout at me, "Without thinking what they think of u? You are smiling at someone? Are you outta your mind?

“Look!” – he says with a stern look। “I think you dont know what you are getting into. I know you will cry your eyes out next time this man doesn’t read what you wrote or that he did not comment on the picture you took.

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With a pencil in my mouth, I said, “But why should I love him? I don't even know him.” I thought a bit and smiling to myself with an almost aaha! in my head I said, “ Oh you know what it is... It’s like I am in love with the idea of him. The shadow of him. Does’nt it sound romantic... i love him without really knowing who he is.”

Today

Yeah and that’s the life I live. That which surrounds me is just the dust you wipe on your dressing tables. But the color is within. In my head. In my head is a world I live; people I talk to. Just that it's 1000 miles away. But I exist for them too. Yes they are miles away, some of them I dont even know, never met but they know me.

I realised what an interesting life I live. Globalisation at its bestThe tele-com industry does survive because of people like me. If there was something that happened I would not get up and tell the one sitting next to me. I would pick up the phone and dial a number probably 1000 miles away to say, “Achcha sun.. you know what...."

Yeah i probably breathe here and live there. For once my ghostly existence is taking over me. I have started ignoring the real. What an escapism! A person I love; another who cares and argues heartedly; One more who listens and this is how it functions.

Is it bizarre if a person sitting 1000 kilometers far away knew exactly what you were going to wear to office and why you are not happy but someone who is looking at you right now doesn’t even know that you carefully chose every piece of jewelery today.

That’s the life i live. Bhaiya says, it’s a sure shot to becoming schizophrenic in your near future. I tell him nah! – I am just ensuring that my future business partners know the person I am!:)